and with you as a judge in this competition, nobody wins.
instead, you've taught them the three v's, vicodin, valium and vodka. you're supposed to be teaching these people, the kids - the three p's, posture, practice and pitch. > no one ever says, "let's watch 'american idol' and see simon's man boobs." the people want to know what loony, bat-crap crazy, insane thing is going to come out of my mouth every week. and next we have to find out what this beef is all about. > jimmy: katie, do you want to be kara or ryan? > i'll be kara. > jimmy: oliver, you're going to be randy. you guys want to solve this beef? first, we need to see what this beef is all about. it's a big story, but we here at "late night" want to solve this beef. simon cowell, randy jackson, kara dioguardi and, of course, ryan seacrest. she may not be returning to "american idol." many think it's because of tension about money between paula and the other hosts. paula abdul, i think we have a picture of her. it's time for "beef solver." > beef solver. but here at "late night," we try to put an end to those beefs. there's a lot of tension out in the world right now, folks. but thanks again, "daily show." you're really fun guys. we want to go back, right? we'll do it again. I just want to thank "the daily show." they creamed us, 22-5. they were like, "it clearly it is your first season of your show." wyatt cenac was pitching. we had 60 people with us in matching t-shirts. though, here's the deal, is the funniest thing. what else do we got there? look at that, i'm dust. what else do we got? that's me jumping up and down just because we had one out. here's the victory, even though we got creamed. could we just show? this was very exciting. we played softball against "the daily show." and we got some pictures of it. last night, we had our first company outing. Performance from the one and only jordin sparks tonight, everybody. you're gonna add more people? a new book reveals that george bush's twin daughters jenna and barbara were a nightmare for secret service to keep tabs on.
it's all part of the administration's new exit strategy, reverse psychology. will send an additional 22,000 troops - an additional 22,000 to iraq to speed up the withdrawal effort.
on monday, defense secretary robert gates, announced that the u.s. you got problems with your printer, you better wait until friday. thinking tomorrow the worst possible day to need tech support. that's all anyone in india is talking about. many people believe that it means the demons will appear and swallow the sun. millions of citizens in india are preparing for tomorrow's rare solar eclipse. welcome, welcome, welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody.
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